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Bottom of the Food Chain is episode 14a of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on February 27, 1999.

Synopsis

Bill and Paul compete with each other on who can impress the local food critic, Mac Donald.

Cast

Although Joey doesn't physically appear, he is mentioned by Eric in the beginning.

Trivia

  • The Drunken Sailor by Nicolas Carr serves as the title card track for this episode.
  • This episode is available on the Nerd Buddies VHS, as well as the Cartoon Crack-Ups and Shaggy Dog Story DVDs.
  • Although this episode premiered in 1999, the copyright date at the end of the credits is 1998.
  • Bill dumping Mac Donald’s corpse into the East River is a reference to how a lot of dead bodies are dumped there.
  • When For Crying Out Loud! premiered, this episode was paired up with it.

Transcript

(The episode starts in Pearson Pizza's kitchen, where Edward and Eric are volunteering. Edward sniffs a pepperoni and sighs, then he puts it on a pizza. Suddenly, we hear a whale's mating call)

Edward: Eric, did you hear that?

Eric: Beats me.

Edward: It sounds like the most hopeless sound ever.

Eric: You sure that wasn't Joey?

(Camera pans to Breault Burgers, and it fades into Bill's office, where Bill is counting the monthly profit on a chart)

Bill: NO! It can't be! The amount of customers have been lowering ever since February started! (weeps) I just don't know what the big deal is. Our only competition is down the street, where Pearson Pizza is. (groans) I just know that darned Paul is up to somethin'! (grunts even more)

Whitney: (walks in) Calm down, Bill, I already told you no more laxatives.

Bill: Oh, just leave me be, Whitney. We're low on customers.

Whitney: Haven't you considered, you know, cleaning the place up a little?

Bill: Well, yes, (he digs into his ear and pulls out a calendar from it, then he flips to September and points at the 25th) but only because Mac Donald is visiting Lakeside today!

Whitney: Who?

Bill: MAC DONALD! Why, he's the most important food critic the country has ever known!

(Cut to Pearson Pizza, making it feel like Paul just said exactly what Bill said)

Paul: And if I don't make him the best pizza, he'll give me a bad review and say how I used so much oil the U.S. will be out for me!

Edward: (salutes) Don't worry, we'll have this place set up in a jiffy.

(Cut to Bill "cleaning up" his restaurant. Instead of throwing out the trash, he just adds another trash bag to an empty trash can near the filled one)

Bill: All better! Right before he- (suddenly, we see a cab pulling up) HAS THE CHANCE TO ARRIVE!

(In the kitchen, Stanley and Sierra are constantly pushing each other)

Stanley: Oh yeah?

Sierra: Yeah!

Stanley: Oh yeah?

Sierra: Yeah!

Bill: (bursts in) RED ALERT! MAC DONALD IS COMING! (zips off)

Stanley: Wait, what were we fighting over?

Sierra: No idea, but I'm still gonna kill you.

Stanley: After we fix this up.

(In the blink of an eye, Stanley prepares a mountain of freshly-cooked cheeseburgers and cleans up the entire dining area. Sierra adds a piano to the dining area and gets rid of the insects near the kitchen)

Bill: Now listen, we want to impress Mac Donald, so I want both of you to show me some love and respect.

Stanley: NOW you're asking for those?

Sierra: Over my dead body.

(The door opens, and the siblings run faster than Usain Bolt needing to take a dump. Stanley goes behind the front desk. Sierra ends up running so fast that she accidentally trips and lands in the oven, which automatically shuts on her)

Sierra: Uh oh.

(The oven turns on)

(We see a shot of Mac Donald at the front door. He has an indifferent expression, and carefully walks in)

Bill: Welcome to Breault Burgers, home of the Breault Burger! (chuckles) Just in case you didn't get tha- (Mac Donald walks past him and his finger and nose deflate)

(He walks up to the counter and pulls up one finger)

Stanley: I'm not deaf - I don't speak sign language.

(He is still holding up his finger)

Stanley: Hey! Put that down or I'll snap it!

Bill: (whispering) He WANTS a normal burger.

(Stanley grunts and throws a cheeseburger onto a plate. He tosses the plate to a table with perfect aiming)

Stanley: There.

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