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Football Follies is episode 27b of Comedy World. It premiered on Kids' WB on September 18, 1999.

Synopsis

Constantinos tries out for football, but everything quickly goes wrong!

Cast (WIP)

Aaron also appears, but has no dialogue. Dr. Feelwell also makes a silent appearance in a flashback.

Trivia

  • The music used in the title card for this episode is "Fight! Fight! Fight!" by Will Schaefer, which is an APM library music piece that has played in the animated series, SpongeBob SquarePants, as well as its 2004 theatrical movie.
  • While most of the deaths in the series are only meant to be jokes, Bo never appeared in another episode.
  • This episode is available on the Runaway Eric DVD and the box set for The Complete Second Season.
  • The gag where Travis pulls the football away from Constantinos is an obvious reference to the popular franchise, Peanuts.

Transcript

(Carver and Constantinos walk into Mr. Pober's class. Carver has a smirk on his face, while Constantinos is heavily wounded. He walks to his desk with crutches)

Mr. Pober: Alright, ya'll better get to work, and I ain't meanin' no funny business. I'll just be here drinkin' my...coffee. (pops open a cork from a bottle of cider and chugs it down)

Constantinos: (sits down) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Dallas: Umm, Constantinos?

Buford: Constantinos, you look worse than a chargin' bull with a mad case of rabies and a splinter up its collar in the ding-dang-gosh middle of the grizzlin' July out on an open stadium filled with lard-tootin' loads of-

Constantinos: OKAY! I GET IT!

Dallas: Are you okay? What happened?

Constantinos: Do I look okay? Of course I don't! As you can see, I-

(Carver glares at him)

Constantinos: Uhhh...I, uhhh... I fell down the stairs.

Dallas: But we're on the first floor. And you just had Culinary, which is right down the hall.

(Cut to lunch break)

Mr. Crawford: (through the intercom) Students are reminded to dress warmly for the fall season, as we do not have the budget to treat everyone for pneumonia.

(Everybody is heard complaining)

Eric: The Internet told me I had that, when I searched up "my stomach hurts". My life's a ticking time bomb now...

Mr. Crawford: Students are also reminded of the upcoming football game. Tryouts are open for anyone willing to be part of the football team. Coach Monumental wishes the team the best of luck and we would also like to remind you that ALL of Lakeside will be watching. Tickets are currently on sale for $5.

(Everybody cheers)

Mr. Crawford: And would Aaron Pasteur please come to the main office to pick up his scholarship applications? (whispering) He is such a huge cheater. (gasps) Is this thing still on?!

(Everybody laughs at Aaron as he waddles down the cafeteria)

Constantinos: Did you hear that, guys? If I join the football team, I can curbstomp Carver once and for all!

Joey: (laughs) Don't try to be something you're not, Short Stack.

Constantinos: Tall?

Joey: No! Like those 'roid monkeys over there. (points to the Jocks' table. Travis and Bo are seen arm wrestling) Sure, you can be stupid- (Dallas punches his arm) OW! (rubs his arm) -but the Jocks are a different story. And you're our friend. Please don't become like them.

Dallas: And no offense, but I don't think you're ready for something as far as joining the football team - at least not yet.

Constantinos: Well, I've had enough, so it's time I do something about this.

Stanley: (chuckles) This is rare. He isn't being a wuss for once.

PC Guy: Just try to get medical assistance first, Constantinos. You seem to have an open fracture on your pelvis.

Constantinos: Actually, I can't.

PC Guy: Why?

Constantinos: I, don't have insurance.

(Flashback to Constantinos at Dr. Feelwell's office for a weak stomach. Dr. Feelwell hands him a bill of $10,000)

(Flashback ends, and the camera cuts to Constantinos heading to the Gym building)

Constantinos: Maybe I should just turn back around and go home. I'm worried I'm gonna screw this up.

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