Occupied! is episode 62a of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on August 18, 2001.
Constantinos has to use the bathroom, but for him, it is impossible to get some privacy.
- Gary Sauls as Constantinos, Joey and Neighbor
- Eric Stuart as Sebastian
- Andrew Rannells as Edward, Cop Chris, and The Narrator
- The way this episode is narrated is similar to a poem.
- Along with its sister episodes, The Game of Lice and The Millennium's a-Comin', the color palette in this segment is darker than usual and is more washed out.
- This episode is at least 7 minutes long, as opposed to the normal duration of 11 minutes.
- This is one of the few episodes where Eric is absent.
[The episode begins with The Narrator holding a book in his hands]
The Narrator: Hello, folks. Today, I'll be telling you a story about our favorite foreign student, Constantinos. [he opens up the book]
[Constantinos is participating in a water drinking contest at a playground with Joey and Sebastian]
The Narrator: It was a hot day. Why, it was so humid that your skin could fray.
[Sebastian's skin starts to peel off one by one as he chugs down a bottle of water]
The Narrator: Constantinos was involved in a drinking contest, and boy was it a pest. His heart couldn't handle this much water -- he'd rather be hitting flies with a swatter. He drank so much, a sound came from his stomach.
Constantinos: Uh oh.
The Narrator: It was a sound that told him, "I need to go number one". And I'm not kidding. It was such a stun.
Constantinos: Hey, look, guys, I really gotta go. (runs away)
Joey: But there's a problem with my toe! I'm really paranoid it could grow.
Sebastian: It doesn't matter, let's go back and focus on the contest. We have to strive here for the best!
The Narrator: Constantinos ran like never before. He sprinted and sprinted, then squinted and splinted.
Constantinos: (falls down a 100-foot cliff) AAAAAAHHHH!!! (crashes to the ground) Ouch.
The Narrator: The poor slob desperately needed to use the bathroom, but first, he had to groom. He had to groom none other than the neighbor's pet dog! It was a shame that mutt belonged in a bog.
Neighbor: I'll pay you twenty bucks!
Constantinos: Aw shucks, now you're talking. But unfortunately, I can't. I must use your restroom, unless you want me to go "boom"!
Neighbor: Oh, my dog's in there.
Constantinos: I ain't going in there, then! The thing's got rabies. She doesn't deserve babies. (takes off)
The Narrator: And so, Constantinos returned to what he was doing. No, he wasn't just chewing. He had to find a private room, otherwise his name would be "Doom".
(Constantinos runs in his house and tries to open the bathroom door)
Constantinos: It's LOCKED! (pounds on the door)
The Narrator: As a result, he went outside, but the sun wanted to get him fried.
Constantinos: (to the audience) Forgive me for this. (goes into a bush and unzips his pants. Police car sirens are heard)
The Narrator: What's that? Did the cops join the scene? Uh oh, someone had spilled the beans!
Cop Chris: Get out of here, kid, this is private property.
Constantinos: Hey, I have more property than Monopoly!
The Narrator: Because of that act of impudence, Constantinos was sentenced to 19 years in the slammer. You see, kids, that's why you shouldn't be a yammer. Fortunately, he hasn't aged a bit, but he still felt like he would split.
Constantinos: Can't a guy just pee in peace for a change?! (runs off once again and heads to Fill 'Er In), but the bathroom has a sign on it that reads "Out of Order")
The Narrator: What's that?! "Out of Order"?! He would rather go across the border!
The Narrator: Shouted Constantinos.
Constantinos: This can't be happening.
The Narrator: Said Constantinos. Like what he would do in drastic times, he took in some air, and decided to eat a rare pear. Then, he ran a couple of miles to find a porta potty. Believe me, it was quite naughty.