|“||Keep it down over there, Pearsons! I’m trying to nap!||”|
— Old Man Esmond
Old Man Esmond is a cranky, pudgy senior citizen who absolutely despises children, though the ones he hates the most are Edward and Eric, who live in the apartment right next to his own. He is a retired military veteran who served as an infantryman during the Korean War. He does not enjoy the company of other people, and he usually spends his time by gardening, napping, reading the newspaper, or watching daytime television.
Esmond has a very short temper. His fits of rage originate from all sorts of things, such as Tony eating some of his candy, Sebastian pranking him, Paul feeding the stray animals that come by the apartment, etc. During his tantrums, he usually destroys any object that is nearby. Esmond is also rather gullible, as it is easy for him to fall for pranks, and he genuinely believes that, "If it comes from a computer, then it's true."
- A running gag in the series is that Esmond tends to suffer from back pain.
- Another running gag is how he dies nearly each time he makes an appearance, and unknowingly comes back to life in the next episode as if nothing happened.
- He is known to have a streak of bad luck with women, as he has been through over ten divorces in his lifetime.
- It has also been implied that he dated Doris at some point in his life.
- Despite being elderly, Esmond has been shown to be quite fit for someone his age:
- In Break a Leg, he ran from Avenue A Apartment to the hospital faster than Eric could blink.
- Esmond was able to thumb wrestle against Travis Harrison and make him lose, as seen in Football Follies. However, he soon died from exhaustion.
- In Comic Relief, he lifted up the entire apartment just so Sebastian could get out of it, only to drop it on top of himself.
- He managed to outrun Fang in the episode, Dog Trouble, only to be hit by a truck shortly afterward.
- In one episode, it was revealed that Esmond played baseball at some point in the past. However, his skills were so horrible that he received numerous injuries from getting hit by the ball.
- Esmond is considered Gary Sauls' favorite minor character from the show.
- He likes to bully Tony Gibbler.
- Several fans like to compare Esmond to Angry Grandpa from the namesake YouTube series.