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School Picnic is episode 34b of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on February 12, 2000.

Synopsis

Mrs. White's class is having lunch at the local city park, but it doesn't go as planned.

Cast

Trivia

  • The scene where Principal Walker got stung by the queen wasp was longer in the storyboard.
  • Although this episode premiered in 2000, the copyright date at the end of the credits is 1999.
  • This episode reveals that Walker is allergic to wasp stings.
    • On a somewhat related note, Mike Pollock was unable to deepen his voice when Walker went through his allergic reaction. Because of this, Gary Sauls stepped in and provided Walker's allergy-induced voice.
  • Since this episode started production when Mary Kay Bergman was still alive, this is one of the few Season 3 episodes where she still voices Kimberly and Lola.

Transcript

(The episode begins with a shot of Lakeside City School's cafeteria. The students are slouching and are slowly eating their food)

The Narrator: It is yet another slow day at the worst school in Lakeside City. What could possibly happen?

Eric: Sheesh, I'm bored.

Joey: (surprised) That's odd of you to say.

Eric: No, I'm serious. On normal days, I can get some entertainment from watching a worm emerge from Constantinos' apple, or watching Carver get beaten in a fight with Dallas. But today just doesn't have any of that, and it's all happening on the first day of spring!

(It turns out that Skipper has been eavesdropping on the conversation)

Skipper: (chuckles) Did you just say "fight"?

Eric: Yeah, and I could say it again. Why'd you ask?

Skipper: Well, you know what they say: the words "food" and "fight" go well together.

Eric: Are you suggesting a food fight?

Skipper: Well, of course, Sherlock.

Eric: Hmm... in that case... (he throws a hot pepper at Skipper's face, and it melts) I'm in.

Skipper: (his head is now nothing but his skull) Suit yourself, bub. (he throws pineapples at Eric)

(In no time at all, the cafeteria develops into a madhouse. All of the students are throwing food at each other, and the fight gets wilder each second)

Edward: (squirts mustard while swinging on a rope and crazily laughing) You won't take me alive!

Eric: Holy catchphrase, Batman! (he takes cover behind a crate, but then Joey appears with a bottle of hot sauce) AAAAHHH!!!

Joey: What's the matter, Eric? Am I being too much of a hothead? (sprays hot sauce on the crate, causing it to devolve into ashes)

Eric: (whimpers) Joey, look, I'm sorry for whatever I've done to you. Heck, I'm even sorry for that time I popped that mole off of your...

Joey: ENOUGH!

Eric: I... uh... here's an apology gift. (gives him a cupcake)

Joey: Oh, thanks! Today is my birthday, after all. (suddenly, the frosting explodes and it ends up all over him)

Eric: Catch me if you "can"! (tosses a peanut brittle can at him)

(Snakes emerge from the peanut brittle can, and Joey screams)

(Cuts to Edward and Carver having a stand-off. Edward has an ice cream dispenser)

Edward: Come on now, Carver. Are you seriously gonna fight someone armed with ice cream?

Carver: Duh. Of course, genius. Fire wins every time.

Edward: Huh?!

(Carver throws a ghost pepper at Edward. He screams and manages to dodge right on time. However, the pepper lands on a picture frame of Principal Walker, and it is set ablaze)

Carver: Son of a butcher!

(Cuts to the school's office)

Principal Walker: (smells the smoke) Yuck, I smell the stench of republicans... (runs out)

(Walker arrives in the cafeteria, which is now on fire. He gasps, and soon enough, two fire engines arrive at the school and quickly begin battling down the flames. In the matter of time, the cafeteria has burned down)

Principal Walker: (sniffles) My wonderful cafeteria! (sobs)

Mrs. White: Am I getting paid overtime for this pity party?

Fire Chief: (advances towards Walker) Sir?

Principal Walker: (still sobbing) I NEED MY THERAPIST!

Fire Chief: Uh, sir?

Principal Walker: At least in therapy, I can pretend to be somebody else's mother...

Fire Chief: Sir.

Principal Walker: ...but nothing will ever be as great as THIS! Now my cafeteria is gone for good... (continues to cry until his tears form a waterfall. Constantinos drowns in said waterfall)

Fire Chief: SIR!

(Principal Walker perks his head up)

Fire Chief: This area is currently unfit for students to eat in, so I suggest you take this lunch session on a picnic or something while we get the cafeteria fixed.

Principal Walker: Hey, that's not a bad idea! After all, the children will be exposed to the dangerous climate of the outdoors! (laughs)

(Camera cuts to Lakeside City Park. The class has a picnic laid out, but Walker is sitting under a tree. Humorously, the class' picnic "blanket" is just a bunch of cardboard boxes)

Edward: Principal Walker, are you gonna join us?

Principal Walker: Over my dead body!

Edward: Suit yourself.

(Now that Walker has peace and quiet, he gathers some crackers and salami. He stacks them together, making a huge sandwich, and begins eating it)

(Unfortunately, the tree is home to a wasp nest. A swarm of wasps come out from it and they poke Walker's shoulder)

Principal Walker: Now what?!

(Upon seeing the wasps, Walker's eyes bug out, and the camera immediately cuts to him running)

Principal Walker: AAAAHHH!!!!!!

(Walker runs over the student's lunches as the swarm of wasps chase after him)

(During the chase, Walker accidentally steps on a king cobra, and the cobra bites him all over as he falls down a cliff)

(Walker slides through the edge of a cliff and is sent flying. He hits a tree branch, but due to his obesity, the branch pulls him back like a slingshot. He lands in a cave)

Principal Walker: Maybe this wasn't a great idea after all. Well, at least I'm safe in this nice, dark, creepy cave... (shivers) I'll just lie down, with this conveniently located jar of honey. (puts the jar around his arms and rests his head on a pebble)

(A yellow bear in a red shirt pokes his head)

Principal Walker: (as the bear growls, he stands up and holds out the jar) What, you want some? Well, honey is supposed to be healthy anyway, ain't it? I'm not looking forward to losing a few pounds, but you look like you could do that. Honey tastes weird, to be honest. People say it's better in tea, but tea doesn't taste good either. You see, my skeleton wife really loves tea...

(Camera immediately cuts to the bear growling, and Walker running out of the cave screaming)

(Walker fits himself inside a log, but the wasps from earlier fly in there and sting him all over. He screams, causing the log to roll down a hill. The log breaks as it hits a moose's butt)

(The moose growls, and it kicks Walker. Walker bounces across the grass and ends up on another cliff. He looks at the audience and ends up falling to the ground, where he lands on a bush)

(A queen wasp emerges from the bush)

Principal Walker: (nervously) I was just leaving...

(He runs away again, screaming bloody murder as the Queen Wasp tries to zap him, but he narrowly dodges each zap. Walker quickly enters an apartment)

(Walker repeatedly opens doors to hide in a room, but only gets terrified by what he sees. The first room has live-action stock footage of a blue whale swimming around, the second shows footage from Jaws, and the third has a CG tyrannosaurus rex and triceratops beating each other)

(Walker jumps out via the fire exit, but lands on the Queen Wasp)

(Camera cuts to Walker arriving back at the picnic area. His skin is now dark pink, due to his allergies)

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