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The Telltale TV is episode 87 of Edward and Eric, as well as the third TV special and the third and final crossover. It premiered on Kids' WB on May 4, 2002.

Synopsis

After fighting over the remote, Edward and Eric get sucked inside the world of television. Here, they navigate through Kids' WB shows and parodies of many TV shows, and they eventually meet up with their past selves. However, each four of the brothers must return to their time periods before they all vanish from existence!

Cast (WIP)

  • Andrew Rannells as Edward, Edward Clones, Past Edward, The NarratorPaul, Charles, SpongeRobert RectangleShorts and himself
  • Josh Peck as Eric and Past Eric
  • Gary Sauls as Pizza Delivery Man, Aloysius, himself, (WIP)
  • Edward Felker as Jacob, Employee, Emile, himself, (WIP)
  • Mike Pollock as Principal Walker and Captain
  • Tress MacNeille as Diane
  • Robert Englund as The Executive
  • Jeff Bergman as Bugs Bunny
  • Joe Alaskey as Daffy Duck
  • Dan Green as Announcer and Yugi Muto
  • Veronica Taylor as Ash Ketchum
  • Eric Stuart as Brock
  • Rachael Lillis as Misty
  • Frank Welker as Scooby-Doo, Fred Jones and Chip
  • Casey Kasem as Shaggy Rogers
  • Grey DeLisle as Daphne Blake
  • Mindy Cohn as Velma Dinkley
  • Tara Strong as Shareena Wickett
  • Billy West as Emmitt Roswell
  • Roger Eschbacher as Jim Kim
  • Carlos Alazraqui as Gug Gugleamo
  • Tia Mowry as Lemonjella LaBelle
  • Tamera Mowry as Orangejella LaBelle
  • Pamelyn Ferdin as Shelley Kelley
  • Kathleen Freeman as Miss Kisskillya (posthumously)
  • Phil LaMarr as Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones
  • Jeff Bennett as Drix
  • Jackie Chan as himself
  • Stacie Chan as Jade Chan

Trivia

  • Screen Heroes (a) by Simon Chamberlain serves as the title card track for this episode. It also plays when the four brothers help the Kids' WB characters return to their dimensions.
  • Despite Season 4 suffering from prominent budget cuts, this is the only episode of the series to be produced in the 1080p widescreen 16:9 format.
    • Interestingly enough, this episode was produced in 2001, but HDTV didn't become commonplace until at least 2007.
  • This episode is available to watch on its namesake DVD, as well as the Season 4 Volume 2 DVD boxset.
  • Not only does this episode parody several different TV shows, but this is also technically the third crossover episode, as it crosses over with every Kids' WB show that was airing at the time, as well as all the cancelled shows (again, at the time).
  • This is one of the few episodes where Edward and Eric appear without any of the other members of The Lucky 6.
    • This is also the only TV special and crossover to do so.
  • The Scooby-Doo characters are in their What's New, Scooby-Doo? designs, which didn't premiere until four months after this episode premiered.
  • The end credits backgrounds are made-up crossovers of other Kids' WB shows. Here is the complete list, all in order:
    • Meddling Kids in Black (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? and Men in Black: The Animated Series)
    • Cubix: Detention for Everyone (Cubix: Robots for Everyone and Detention)
    • Static Pikachu (Pokémon and Static Shock)
    • Pinky, Bugs & the Brain (Pinky and the Brain and Looney Tunes)
    • Histeramaniacs! (Histeria! and Animaniacs)
    • Baby Batman (Baby Looney Tunes and Batman: The Animated Series)
    • Freakazoid Beyond (Freakazoid! and Batman Beyond)

Transcript

(Right after the theme song, the episode opens with a panning shot of Flushing, NY)

The Narrator: We take you live to Flushing, New York, a busy, hard-working neighborhood that's home to the #1 Edward and Eric fan: (cut to a picture frame of Andrew, with Jacob on his side) Andrew Rannells!

(We hear an audience cheering and clapping. Cut to the living room of Andrew's apartment)

(Andrew is setting up his living room in preparation for the new special, aka this)

Andrew: (holding a list) Popcorn, check. Cola, check. And now, my free pizza... (takes out a time machine from his butt, enters it and he travels to last night)

(Andrew is transported to the previous night, at precisely 11:38 PM)

Andrew: (dials a number and puts the phone on his ear) Hello, I would like your most expensive pizza.

(At exactly midnight, the pizza delivery man rings the doorbell. Andrew literally turns his mouth upside down to form a frown, and he opens the door)

Andrew: Hey, I ordered this a day ago, and you know your policy!

(He takes out a piece of paper from nowhere, which reads "Any pizzas that take more than 3 hours to arrive is on the driver, not the customer, thus it will be free.")

Pizza Delivery Man: (sighs and hands him the 3 pizza boxes) Fine, but I still need to pay for coll-

(Andrew slams the door, uses his time machine to go back to the present, and is instantly warped back there)

Andrew: Strawberries on pizza, you'll soon be mine! (suddenly, he recognizes the audience) Oh, hi kids! Today, I'm prepping for the new Edward and Eric TV special. Why don't you grab a comfy seat?

(Camera pans out to reveal there's only one chair in the house, which is for him)

Andrew: (laughs) I forgot! Well, hope you enjoy the carpet. (laughs more as he goes to sit down, but somehow, the chair is gone, and as a result, he falls flat on his rear) AAUGH!

(We see Jacob has stolen it)

Andrew: Jacob, my chair!

Jacob: Sorry, I didn't see your name on it.

Andrew: That's my chair, not yours!

Jacob: Well, you should've booked a reservation. Observe. (flips the chair around to reveal a red velvet with "Reserved" written on it in golden)

Andrew: I stayed up all night preparing for this very day, and that was never there! (grunts) Never mind. At least the rug's pretty comfy.

Jacob: Actually, the carpet cleaners were supposed to come in today to get rid of the mites.

(A bunch of carpet removal service employees instantly burst in, remove the entire living room carpet faster than Usain Bolt needing to use the john, and they dash out. Andrew's rear falls onto the uncomfortable floor)

Andrew: (groans) Let's just watch this. (suddenly, he sees Jacob is nowhere to be seen) Jacob? (shrugs and prepares to eat popcorn) More for me!

(The TV starts inexplicably changing channels)

Andrew: Huh?

(As the TV flips through channels, we see a kid crying in fear on a mall Santa's lap, an iceberg tipping, a Ty-Rannell-Saurus Rex roaring, live-action stock footage of a rabid dog barking, and trains crashing into each other)

Andrew: (shakes the TV) I thought I just got this fixed!

Jacob: (offscreen) I'll call the cable company.

(Unfortunately, what Andrew doesn't know is that Jacob swiftly heads to another room and slams the door shut so he can watch the special there. We hear the door lock)

Andrew: Oh no! (runs up to the door and pounds on it) JACOB! JACOB, LET ME IN!

Jacob: I told you I'm calling the cable folks!

Andrew: (starts crying) OH, PLEASE! (sobs harder)

(In the room, Jacob makes himself comfy on the bed, and the camera zooms into the TV, where we see the title card)

(The opening credits play, and then the episode opens with a shot of Bullseye)

The Narrator: Ah, Bullseye. One of the many stores in Lakeside where you can buy everything in bulk. Yes, even greeting cards.

(The brothers are shopping for a new TV)

Eric: You know, Edward, I've been curious about something.

Edward: What is it?

Eric: Well, if they're called free samples, how come the capacity for a customer is strictly one?

Edward: (laughs as he puts his arm over Eric's shoulders) I found a solution for this.

(We see an employee at a free sample stand for pretzel dogs)

Edward: Why, thank you, sir! (eats one and walks off)

(A clone of Edward walks up)

Edward Clone: I feel gracious for your gratitude, sir! (eats one and walks off)

(And another one)

Edward Clone #2: (this clone is wearing a green Hawaiian shirt and an umbrella hat) Oh! Well, don't mind if I do. (eats one and walks off)

(And another one)

Edward Clone #3: (wearing a green propeller cap and a jetpack) Oh my, a free sample?

Employee: Sir, this is the third sample you've consumed. Please be considerate for other people.

(We see that the line behind the third clone is filled with a bunch of other Edward clones)

Edward Clone #4: (in the background) Get to the back!

Edward Clone #5: (in the background) Hurry it up, will ya?!

Edward Clone #6: (in the background) Not all of us are fortunate!

Edward Clone #7: (in the background) Don't be a hog!

(Camera cuts back to the brothers)

Edward: Television, television, television... (gasps and screams in excitement) There it is, Eric! A new TV for our living room!

(We see a widescreen TV)

Eric: (amazed) Widescreen! (feels it) It feels good. (licks it) It tastes good.

Edward: (scared of Eric's germs) Eric, please! (looks at another widescreen TV) Uhh, let's try that one.

(We see a bigger and better widescreen TV, and it's playing a football game)

Eric: Whoa! It feels like I'm at the game. (sticks his tongue out) And now for the taste test.

Edward: (stops him) I THINK THAT WILL DO!

Eric: (sighs) Alright. Hey, you said we have enough cash?

Edward: (reaches into his pocket) The TV is $12,799, I have... (counting incoherently) Uhh, do you have any spare funds, Eric?

Eric: (takes out a piggy bank) Let me check my college savings.

(Charles passes by, shopping, and Eric smashes the piggy bank on his head)

Charles: (rubs his head) OW! (walks away) Jerk!

Eric: Oh, right, they're non-existent. Well, I know where to get the money.

(Eric constipates extremely hard, grows a buzz cut haircut, instantly gets recruited by the U.S. Army for his haircut, gets drafted into World War III, and he stands in the middle of the battlefield doing absolutely nothing)

(Cut to a time card)

The Narrator: Several years, arguments and nukes later...

Eric: (with a pile of cash in his arms) Edward, we are good to go! Man, I missed home.

Edward: You were only gone for fifteen-

Eric: Settle down. We can afford the TV now.

(Camera transitions to the apartment)

(The brothers are carrying the TV in)

Paul: (vacuuming) Whatcha got there, fellas?

Edward: Well, we heard you wishing for a new television for the living room the other day. And here we are! (they set it up on the wall)

Paul: Just as long as you didn't steal it. (laughs) I'll leave you guys to it.

(The brothers plop down on the couch)

Edward: Oh boy! (grabs the remote) Nature documentaries, here I come! (turns the TV on)

Eric: Edward, you know all documentaries are depressing. All documentaries are is some old man narrating how screwed up our world is.

Edward: Eric, I-

Eric: Gimme! (swipes the remote and changes it to live-action stock footage of a goldfish swimming around in its tank)

(Edward takes the remote back and changes it to The Weather Channel)

(Eric changes the channel without even holding the remote; changing it to a live-action clown juggling)

Edward: How did you-

(Eric takes the remote away and changes the channel to Kids' WB, where he sees this episode playing)

(The TV is saying exactly what they're saying)

Eric: (gasps) Oh my god! Edward, look! It's-

Edward: Us?! But how?

Eric: Only one meaning behind this. (he points to the Kids' WB screen bug on the bottom right)

Edward: Oh, that. Don't bother getting it off; I've tried.

Eric: I am pretty hungry. (eats the screen bug, but spits it out)

Edward: (takes away the remote) And am desiring for the remote! (changes the channel to a romance channel)

Eric: But you DO know this is OUR remote, so it's also MINE. (takes it away)

Edward: Eric, buying Dad a new TV was my idea.

Eric: Well, I don't see your name on it!

Edward: Give me that thing!

(Both start wrestling each other, but suddenly, we hear jazz music from the TV)

Edward: Uhh, hang on. (turns the TV off) So where were we?

Eric: I dunno, perhaps we were knitting, or cooking, or FIGHTING!

(Suddenly, health bars pop up at the top of the screen)

Edward: No. Please no.

Eric: (in fighting position) Yes, please yes!

(Edward gets into an incorrect fighting position and gulps)

(The animation is now in 16-bit)

Eric: (places two black construction papers on both ends of his head to make it look like a cutscene) You shouldn't have... uhhh... (puts down the construction papers) What was it again? "Push my buttons"?

Announcer: READY?

Edward: No!

Announcer: FIGHT!

Edward: Come on, we can settle this!

Eric: Not until you take turns! (he shoots a ball of energy at Edward)

Edward: OW! (weakly gets back up from the ground) Don't be precipitous!

Eric: Nope. (he throws more energy balls) And now, for my final trick. (he rips a flower out of a vase and eats it)

Edward: Wrong game, Eric.

(Suddenly, Eric spams fire balls at Edward until he burns again. Edward screams and dives into a bucket of ice)

Edward: (relieved) Oh yeah.

Announcer: PLAYER 2 wins! Round 2, FIGHT!

(Eric prepares to charge another energy ball from his hands, and he launches it, which Edward dodges)

Edward: (thinking) Come on, Ed, think! (gets an idea) Ok, what was that code again? (jumps) Up, up, (falls down flat on his face) down, (slithers) down, (faces his left) left, (and his right) right, (stands up and jumps twice again) up, up.

(Edward becomes muscular, but his legs look like he skipped Leg Day)

Eric: Hey, that's no fair!

(Beat)

Eric: I never unlocked that cheat code.

Edward: Here's another one! (swipes the remote away)

Announcer: PLAYER 1 wins! FINAL ROUND! READY? FIGHT!

(Edward's muscular body deflates)

Edward: Uh oh.

(Eric meditates and hums something. Several energy balls fall from the ceiling like rain, hitting Edward repeatedly)

Eric: NEVER FORGET MY SUPER ULTRA HYPERPLEX-COMBO MOVE!!!!

(The apartment explodes, but Paul is completely unfazed by it. He's in his bedroom, typing out emails on his computer)

Paul: Who turned on the heater? (rushes out of the door)

Announcer: PLAYER 2 WINS!!!!

Edward: (collapses; echoing) I LOST!

(As Edward falls to the ground, the remote lands in Eric's hands)

Eric: Since you don't know to share, then-

Paul: (pops out of nowhere and confiscates the remote) -none of you are having it. Until you boys clean this mess up and PAY for the damage, both of you are grounded until further notice! (grabs his briefcase) I have to attend an important meeting, but don't think ANY of you are exempt! (slams the door)

Edward: (sighs) Eric, hand me a broom.

Eric: And I know just where to get the money from.

(Cut to a time card)

The Narrator: Soon enough...

(The brothers are sitting on the couch, and the remote is in clear vision on a desk. Eric tries using The Force to reach for it)

Edward: I know what you're thinking; DON'T do it.

Eric: (stands up and takes the remote) Well, what know is that you can't resist this. An unlimited world of channels, on a big screen. Documentaries, science things...

Edward: (trying to hold it in) But we're currently punished! We can't just-

Eric: History shows, romance shows, all in HD! And hardly anybody in town knows what HD is! Except Stanley.

Edward: (snaps) Eric! Give me that remote so I can watch- I mean, confiscate it!

(They both glare at each other, and eventually, they wrestle again)

(The brothers erupt into a Big Ball of Violence, but suddenly, the remote shoots out a blast of electricity. They scream bloody murder, and they get sucked into the TV with the remote)

(The brothers fall into the TV's black screen)

Edward: Whoa, where are we? Are we still in Lakeside,

(Camera pans out to reveal the brothers stuck in the TV)

Edward: or is THAT Lakeside?

Eric: Hey, at least we're equal now.

Edward: (screams and frantically runs around in circles) WE'RE NEVER GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE! (rams into the screen and falls down)

Eric: (picks him up) But Edward, we're now in the world of television. The world is quite literally in our hands. Nobody can tell us "Don't do this, don't do that". We can travel to any universe at our own will. There's no restrictions to what we can do. And most importantly,

(Beat)

Eric: I accidentally left our oven on.

Edward: But Eric, we can't just abandon reality for immersive dimensions.

Eric: Not without our remote!

Edward: You can't do this! Dad is going to perceive our indisputable absence! And I don't have my dimension travelling gun to get us out of here.

Eric: Well, what DID you bring?

Edward: I only currently possess my grappling hook.

Eric: And our remote! (prepares to turn the TV on) Edward, come on. What could go wrong?

Edward: I don't know. Everything?

Eric: It'll be fun! Besides, we have enough time in a TV special.

Edward: Yeah, that's true. Anything can happen in an eccentric cartoon with an unoriginal title.

Eric: And off we go!

(Eric presses the Power button, turning the TV on. The brothers get warped into the channel, Jukebox)

(Camera pans out to reveal Walker watching his brand new CRT TV in his basement apartment)

Principal Walker: I'm glad I "bought" this from the "store"!

Diane: By that, you mean you beat up the family down the road for this.

Principal Walker: Give me credit; I politely asked them at first.

(Walker's children plop down on the couch)

Emile: Man, I've NEVER seen a TV in person!

Aloysius: (in the background) Whoa.

Chip: (barks)

Aloysius: It's as big as my self-worth!

Principal Walker: Time to make history, boys. (excitedly shakes, with a bowl of popcorn in his hands, and the popcorn goes everywhere)

(Diane and the kids reach for some, but Walker moves it away from them)

Principal Walker: OH, IT'S STARTING!

Diane: Shh!

(The theme song of SpongeRobert RectangleShorts commences)

Captain: Are ya ready, kids?

(Beat)

Captain: Uhh, kids?

(Beat)

Captain: Kids?

(Beat)

(It turns out the kids have been saying "Aye aye, captain!" this whole time, but they're muffled due to the captain being deaf)

(The camera, and the brothers, dive into the ocean)

Both: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Walker spits out his offbrand soda and screams as he tosses the TV out the window)

(The brothers land near a grapefruit)

Captain: Who constantly forgets to pay rent for his grapefruit?

Kids: SpongeRobert RectangleShorts!

(SpongeRobert lands in a bathtub but screams due to the water being too hot, resulting in him spitting out the water)

Captain: He's yellow and he's friendly, so he's not a brute!

Kids: SpongeRobert RectangleShorts!

Captain: If hilarity and clumsiness is something you desire,

Kids: SpongeRobert RectangleShorts!

Captain: Then don't laugh hard enough to set your lungs on fire!

Kids: SpongeRobert RectangleShorts!

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